LIVING BY FAITH: Blog 6 - New Inspiration

May 15, 2009

I made a decision today to live my life by faith. I also decided to write about my experiences openly in the blogging world. I haven't told anyone that I am doing this, but I really feel that this "journaling" will be a great way for me to keep on track as well as be a testimony one day for others.

There is a knowing inside of me that everything will always work out the way it's supposed to. The truth is, right now, times are a bit tough. I don't like to think much about it because I choose not to put my energy in that direction, and once again, I also know deep down, everything will work out just fine. Of course, I have those moments where I get into my head and think of all the things that are getting me down. Those thoughts usually take me down the same road where I end up feeling a bit sick to my stomach, frustrated and sad at the same time. I left my job after our second child was born, which was a decision I felt was right, but it's left us in a bit of a financial mess. Before I formally left my job, I wrote down on a sheet of paper a list of other ways I could earn money and be home with my children. I felt confident that those other ways would provide income and all would be good. The reality is that it has been taking longer than I anticipated. I get frustrated with myself because I can't seem to find the time to get organized on my new ventures. Don't get me wrong, I love being home with my kids. I love taking them places and playing with them and being there for them throughout the day and getting to experience them, but it sure etches away at the quiet time I used to have to think, to organize things, to play around with my new ideas.

So that's why I am here. I said a prayer the other morning and the answer dawned on me....Put my trust in God. Ask Him to intervene every day and direct my path in the best possible direction to get my situation in a better place. I've been running around, as the expression says, like a chicken with my head cut off. I start one project, only to be pulled away by one of my kids needing something from me. When I do have a little bit of time, it's usually spent doing loads of laundry, picking up the house...the everyday things that I like to have done. I always tell myself...."I'll work on my business when my husband gets home." That never seems to happen. He doesn't get home most days until 6:00. Then it's dinner time, bath time, wind the kids down time and get them off to bed. After that, I like to have a little time to unwind myself and working at 8 or 9 at night is not what I have the desire to do. Sound familiar???? I know so many people struggle with this same setting, but I want to find a simple way out of it.

In a prayer years ago, I felt I was given the message of "simplicity." I know simplicity is the key in life. In this situation, my simple way out will be to ask God each day to direct my steps and to help me find the time to take the steps I need to. Instead of putting the pressure on myself to know what to do first during the 30 minutes that I may find during the day, I will trust that He will move it in me to feel what is most important.

Proverbs 3:5, 6 says trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. In all ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your paths." So that's what I'm going to do.

When I ask myself what it is I truly want....ironically, it's not "money" that I feel is the answer. Although, logically that's what would seem should be the answer since our financial situation is what gets me down most. The answer for me is "peace." Peace and organization. When I think about my life right now, I feel a bit scattered, chaotic, unorganized, just not "me."

I am not a religious person. I don't care for the word "religion" because it makes me feel kind of trapped. In the past, I've substituted religious for saying I'm a spiritual person. Although that is true, I don't really care for that term either. What I do like is that I'm a person who lives by faith. I'm a person who really does believe in God and believes He is good. I'm a person who really wants Him to be at the center of my life and my family's life because I believe He will guide us in the most perfect way for us. This I love. I take extreme comfort in knowing and feeling this way.

I write this blog knowing that it may be read by some people who don't believe the same way I do. Please know that this is what works for me and that I appreciate other people know their truths to be different. I also write this blog feeling a little vulnerable and open that I am putting myself out here...but I also know that my purpose is to help other people become more faithful and hopeful. I don't know how I can be that kind of person without sharing my own experiences.

I attribute much of my belief and inner knowing of what God is to the teachings of my mother. She has a special gift to translate religious teachings to every day lingo. She has a gift to teach about God's goodness. She has always told me that when she was pregnant with me, she was touched by some dreams that she felt were from God. She told me that she believes I felt those dreams too and that her and I share a connection. I love that. I love that connected feeling. I love feeling like I've been touched in some way.

Years ago, I was flipping through the channels and was drawn into watching Joel Osteen. I was watching him long before his name became as popular as it is today. He does what my mom does. He puts God's message in every day terms and situations and motivates you from a heartfelt standpoint. Between my mother and Joel, that is who I have learned from spiritually.

I listened to one of Joel's messages today and what I took from it was to "see myself how God sees me." That is what I want to do. I asked myself...."how does God see me." What came to my mind was "as his child." I thought about this. I'm a parent and I love and adore my children. I love it when they are happy and appreciative. There isn't anything that I wouldn't do to make their quality of life anything than the best I could make it. If my children were struggling in some way and I could help and lead them in the best direction...I would. So I will try to think of myself in God's eyes the same way I see my children.

So I am going to end this blog today with the commitment to start my day off each morning asking God to be in control of my day. I've voiced my concerns to Him regarding our finances and how I am feeling trapped with the way things are and not enjoying this feeling. I am committing that each time I start to stress over that situation, I will remind myself that I have asked God to intervene and He will lead me in the right direction to make things better quickly. I will do my best to update this blog with my progress.

August 17, 2009

Blog 6 - New Inspiration

So I was fully inspired by two things this last weekend:

1. I saw the movie Julie & Julia. I thought the movie was going to be all about cooking. I had no idea it would reference writing a blog. I felt inspired. It gave me the push I needed to get back on to my blog and really move me forward with this. It also made me hungry. : )

2. I did a coaching session with a client. I get a "high," so to say, when I feel I've helped someone. When I hung up the phone though, I looked at the clock. It was 11:11. If you've read my earlier blogs, you will know that I have this thing with the #11. When I see 11:11, I feel it's a confirmation that I'm on the right track.

In any case, I was thinking this morning about faith and was reminded of the scripture:

2 Corinthians 5:7 "We live by faith, not by sight."

My spirit was drawn into the word LIVE. I took this to mean when we look at things with faith, we live. So...I asked myself what does "to live" mean? To me it means the opposite of enduring, which is what I think many of us do....we endure....we get by. To live means to be alive, but not just physically alive.....spiritually alive, connected, in-tune, and with hope. I looked up the word "live" in the dictionary, and there were several definitions of the word. One of them is "to have a life rich in experience" and another is "to exhibit vigor, gusto or enthusiasm."

How much more fun would our days be if we were feeling this way? So....if I go back to the scripture - I can turn it around to say "If we use faith, we live." This motivates me to exercise that faith muscle more because I want a life rich in experience full of vigor and enthusiasm.

When I began the blog, I promised that each day I would start off with a prayer that God would direct my day. I started off doing this, but as the days have gone by and the busyness gets to me, I've neglected to do it. So, what I thought was a simple way to start trusting in greater things may not have been simple enough. I like simplicity. So, instead I put a prayer out there that asked for direction every day and that the right people, opportunites and experiences come into my life. This was much easier. I asked for it. I'm covered. : )

I am really just believing right now that God is bringing clients and opportunities my way. It's nothing more than that. This is what I am telling myself. This is where I am trusting and being faithful. I feel this will happen.